what the hell am i doing here, allen ginsberg?. in which I gush in run-on sentences and overuse commas. And try to leave vaguely constructive critic (Reply).
Firstly, it's really scary how much of the stuff you put in there was stuff I was thinking about. Like collaborations, and drinking, and Jenny swearing way too much and Regina always smiling, and writing songs for each other, and answering machines, and BESS ROGERS; it was like you were reading my mind, seriously. Regina was adorable in all the ways she always is, and Jenny was pathetically in love and characterization was beautiful, somehow, even though I've gotten perhaps an hour's worth of either of them actually talking.
I really like your vignette form of writing that you've been doing lately. It encompasses the whole of the relationship in short, sweet moments and I enjoyed it immensely
The conversation between Bess and Jenny was my favorite conversation ever. I have been treasuring it alllll week. :D
There were a couple sentences with typos, minor ones that are easy to miss (my favorite is "We would just end up tacos"). Should I post them as a comment or just PM you or something, because it would be kind of a lame comment.
Also: ...Jenny replies, forlornly, throwing herself backwards onto her sofa, remembering what happened on her sofa and rolling onto the floor. What happened on the sofa?
In conclusion: My love knows no bounds for you or this fic. (Also, the kissing! And the ending! gah!)
I've snared five people into watching Coraline so far. Make sure you see it in 3-D!
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moony-luna.livejournal.com at 04:45am on 15/02/2009![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Firstly, it's really scary how much of the stuff you put in there was stuff I was thinking about. Like collaborations, and drinking, and Jenny swearing way too much and Regina always smiling, and writing songs for each other, and answering machines, and BESS ROGERS; it was like you were reading my mind, seriously. Regina was adorable in all the ways she always is, and Jenny was pathetically in love and characterization was beautiful, somehow, even though I've gotten perhaps an hour's worth of either of them actually talking.
I really like your vignette form of writing that you've been doing lately. It encompasses the whole of the relationship in short, sweet moments and I enjoyed it immensely
The conversation between Bess and Jenny was my favorite conversation ever. I have been treasuring it alllll week. :D
There were a couple sentences with typos, minor ones that are easy to miss (my favorite is "We would just end up tacos"). Should I post them as a comment or just PM you or something, because it would be kind of a lame comment.
Also: ...Jenny replies, forlornly, throwing herself backwards onto her sofa, remembering what happened on her sofa and rolling onto the floor. What happened on the sofa?
In conclusion: My love knows no bounds for you or this fic. (Also, the kissing! And the ending! gah!)
I've snared five people into watching Coraline so far. Make sure you see it in 3-D!